Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to fulfill your duties and the only thing about this that can self-destruct, is actually you.

I want to be up front, I do not suck as a Dad and Husband and the path to writing this post is a funny one.

One day after sarcastically suggesting that I hope I’m remembered for everything I do as I was unclogging the laundry room sink. “Fulfilled your duties” my wife said as she patted me on the back and asked me to get the crock pot down when I was done.

Well my phone must have been near when I further talked sarcastically about the duties of husbandry and fatherhood that the cosmos bestowed upon me as we were feasting on the meal from the crock pot. So, over the course of the next week, all of my social feeds started sending me posts and ads for self help about the duties of being a man, a husband, and a father as the digital dimensions seemed to think I sucked. This is why, whenever someone leaves their phone unattended, you should verbally talk about odd subjects that will then start showing up on feeds of that person whose phone is being left unattended. You should try it and you should probably not leave your phone lying around at my shop.

So, I clicked on a few of the uninvited posts out of curiosity about what I might be missing. Is there more that I should be? Who out there is doing something that I can integrate and use? What if I do suck?

Well, I was completely disappointed with the superficiality, the simple minded narrowness, and weakness that exists in what I read. The bar seems pretty low and as you have become more exposed to society, you can see that as well. Feel free to search various combinations of the duties and you as well will be amazed by the linear and superficial responses on the threads. None of them was an epic enough list and I feel sad for the wives and children of some of the authors if they are actually married and are a parent.

Fast forward a few weeks after a few weird stakeholder meetings where I was asked what my goals were by several people, I decided to set an epic goal after having a weird dream about epic goals. I believe a “goal” is actually an end to a journey and that you need targets, quests, and actions to get there. I have plenty of targets, quests, and actions planned for our visions of health and wealth and now I have an epic goal. That goal is to have people say “Fulfilled his Duties” at the pub while lifting a pint in my honor. My headstone will have that written on it as well as my wife wasn’t going to let me put “I told You I Was Sick” on my tombstone so I get the last word in.

Now I just needed to figure out what my actual duties were, so this list was born and it might grow. Here are the duties bestowed upon you by the Cosmos according to me.

1. To Constantly Learn and Evolve
   • To love.
   • To be grateful.
   • To be aware.
   • To mentor
   • To do new things.
   • To doubt everyone that thinks they know something better, says what should be, offers advice, states this is how it is, or says they understand.
   • To live your beliefs and values.
   • To be “there” aka “present” and not somewhere else when you are actually there.
   • To always strive and drive for improvements.
   • Meet new people, learn new things, help others.
   • Know where you can add the most value.
   • To listen.
2. To Provide
   • Health and wealth.
   • Confidence.
   • A great launch pad, not a ceiling. You get to set the standard. Set it high and don’t fuck it up.
   • Provide something for them to fly back to.
   • Advocacy for those that can’t stand up for themselves and were never meant to follow this construct we have been handed.
   • Opportunities for others to improve their health and wealth.
   • Discipline and accountability when the roles and expectations have been transparent and understood.
   • Mentoring, coaching, and parenting when the above is not warranted yet.
   • Laughter. Play when you can. The world is way to serious so you have a moral obligation to mess with people.
3. To Protect
   • Them from making really really bad mistakes. Some mistakes need to happen.
   • Regardless of your thoughts on citizens being armed, there are bad people out there and by the time you or someone else dials 911, it is too late.
     • Learn some offensive and defensive arts.
     • Get your CCW and take every class at the FVTC Public Safety Training Center. Then buy what works for you and practice what works for you.
   • Prepping for the worst is actually real. You should at least have some good whiskey on hand and at all times.
   • Train and evolve. The OODA loop is not just for the Air Force in Vietnam….Varg Freeborn’s book is a good read.
   • Have a plan.
4. To Take Action
   • “Acta non verba” is tattooed on my right wrist so I can see it whenever I am writing down something I need to do.
   • Carry “The Pocket Guide to Actions” by Kyle Eschenroeder in my EDC bag so I have something physical to read when waiting for our oldest daughter that does not drive, waiting for a flight, or anytime I need a s
   • Whenever you see the a path to improve you, your health, those you are responsible for, and those around you.
   • Manifest it and live in the law of assumption.
5. To Do Epic Shit
   • With your wife.
   • With your family.
   • With your friends.
   • Define the what and why, and the Cosmos will give you the how….That is manifestation and the law of assumption.
6. To Let Discourse Happen
   • Don’t treat them like kids was our rule for family conversations and our family dinners are priceless.
   • Dissent is not disloyalty. Others have a duty to object. It’s in the code and be prepared to listen.
   • Make sure what you say moves people forward.
   • Never be afraid to ask why.
7. To Let Them Fly
   • They will eventually not need you sometimes and it’s actually one of my happiest feelings. It will happen quicker than you think.
   • Let them fly more. Be grateful that you are in a position where they can fly on their own.
8. To Be The Positive Model
   • Son, student, friend, date, husband, dad (any idiot can be a father which is why “Fathers Day” is actually confusing),
   • Employer, leader, mentor, and teacher.
   • Citizen of the Cosmos.
   • Be someone whom others actually want to achieve to be.
9. To Take Responsibility
   • For your your mis comings and your actions.
   • For those you are responsible for ….Teach your kids the turd test and the whit if mama reads your name in the paper test.
   • For those around you that need advocacy.
   • To show them this list of ten.
10. To Celebrate
    • Every time you win.
    • Every time you realize you and those you are responsible for are better than you were.
    • Every time they surpass your expectations. They will.
    • Every improvement on health and wealth.
    • When you are able to be together as a family growing health and wealth together.

I do not believe any Husband and Dad can ever become their full potential without understanding their role in the cosmos, how that role changes, and how you need evolve with it over time.

These ten duties are a launch pad. If you think this is too much, then you are thinking too small. If you think this makes being a Husband and a Dad look daunting, it is actually the most fulfilling thing you will ever accomplish. DO NOT QUIT!

Oh, and another thing, ALWAYS take your own wife to see Coldplay!